Rest in Peace, Rogue States

I am not one of those fortunate few who work either for the Federal government, or for an organization that keeps the Federal holiday schedule, so Monday I was at work. But that was okay, because my plans for Monday night gave me something to look forward to: dinner with Greg, a former coworker from the Bookstore at Rogue States, a gourmet burger shop on Connecticut Avenue just south of Dupont Circle.

I have a hard time reviewing food. Honestly, either its good, or its bad. Or it could be great, or awesome. Don’t ask me to talk about flavors and stuff. So here’s my review of Rogue States: nice atmosphere, good (although somewhat lengthy) service, cheeseburger? Holy wonderfully awesome.

Tonight I was walking home along Connecticut Avenue after a night at the Bookstore where the highlight was directing two guys in removing a busted refrigerator out of the store, which was a lot harder than it had any right to be, even considering that it was like six feet tall and huge with these ridiculous steel panels and glass paneled door that wouldn’t stay shut. Harder even than all that would make something.

Anyway, so I was walking home, and I always like to turn my head to the left and look into the ambiance of Rogue States. Except this time there was something a little different about the sidewalk. I wasn’t entirely sure what that was until I was right on Rogue States — or rather, the former location of Rogue States. A large sign was on the door:

DEAR FRIENDS,
ON OCTOBER 12, JUDGE JOHN MCADAM MOTT ORDERED US TO CLOSE OUR RESTAURANT. AFTER A LONG BATTLE TO STAY OPEN AND KEEP OUR BUSINESS ALIVE, JUDGE MOTT FORCED OUR HAND BY SIDING WITH OUR NEIGHBOR, STEPTOE AND JOHNSON, A POWERFUL LAW FIRM THAT CLAIMS THAT THE SMELL OF OUR BURGERS IS MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR THEM TO KEEP UP THE LAWYERING BUSINESS. TODAY, STEPTOE AND JOHNSON AND THE JUDGE GOT THEIR WAY, BUT THAT IS NOT THE END OF IT; WE ARE STILL FIGHTING TO REOPEN OUR BUSINESS AND ONCE AGAIN BRING YOU THE BEST BURGERS IN DC.

CHEF RAYNOLD MENDIZABAL

I don’t know whether to be heart broken or excited. Heart broken because, oh my god, those burgers were sooo good. Or excited because, hey, one less temptation on my way to losing weight.

I’m leaning towards heart broken.

The back story is that Steptoe and Johnson had sued the restaurant over a venting system that was pumping the wonderful aroma of chipotle cheeseburgers into their law firm, which was making their lawyers suffer a variety of ails such as, I don’t know, what is it lawyers are good for? Apparently shutting down awesome cheese burger places. Jerks.

5 thoughts on “Rest in Peace, Rogue States

  1. This is the most ridiculous thing since the crazy dude sued the dry cleaners for losing his pants. I am offended by the legal profession right now.

  2. Leave it to a bunch of lawyers to shut down a burger place for filling their work environment with awesome smells of delicious burgers. Jerks.

  3. was there no way to modify the ventilation system to pump the delicious burger smell onto the street or something?! this seems like a crazy “solution.”

  4. In a lawful debate that has pitted burgers against attorneys, Washington, D.C., burger shop Rogue States Burgers has been required to shut down. Though some are labeling the lawsuit frivolous, a D.C. judge found it reputable. Rogue Burgers can’t beat doctors, apparently. There is already a new location for Rogue States Burgers in the works, though.

  5. Suckers. They are going to be begging for the delicious scent of burgers when after I open up my all durian smoothie shop in Rogue States former retail space.

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