You know how last year people were saying “Man, Kick Ass is kick ass!”
(Well, I was.)
Conversely … Sucker Punch (wait for it) sucked.
So, here’s the deal. Baby Doll’s mom dies, which sucks because her step-father is possibly a priest, and almost certainly molesting her. Baby Doll gets a gun and tries to kill him, but, oops, shoots her sister instead. Baby Doll is sent to a mental ward, where she finds out she’s going to get lobotomized in five days. At this point, the movie goes from black and white to color. I’m not sure what the distinction is, except that all the staff seem to be wearing classier clothing, her step father is suddenly in a priest’s collar, and what been a dingy room looks like a high class lounge.
Oh, and all the girls are now being forced into prostitution. As part of their prostitution, they all have to dance, I guess to tantalize the men in the crowd into wanting them.
Okay – this is weird. So basically, “high rollers” from the town come to the mental hospital to fuck mentally ill women. Yeah, real nice guys. Anyway, turns out when Baby Doll dances, she enters some sort of imagination-reality-warping-zone where her co-conspirators among the girls can experience as well (sort of). Also, while she’s dancing, men are so entranced they don’t notice her co-conspirators copying maps, or stealing keys and knives (well, they sorta notice the knives).
The alternate worlds Baby Doll’s dreams take place in are pretty much the only reason to see this film. They’re visually incredible. If you ever wanted to know what the siege of Hornberg would’ve been like with silenced M4s, well, you’ll get your answer. Personally, my own favorite sequence of the film is set during The Great War, with the Kaiser’s troops reanimated with steam. Even that, though, left me aching for the cash no longer in my wallet.
Basically this film felt sort of like one of my better dreams, but dressed up as a female empowerment tale. So, long story short: Zack Snyder’s good at directing other people’s stories, but his own story left me scratching my head in total confusion.
Oh! Just when you thought I was done! At the very end of the film? Baby Doll narrates the fucking morale of the story which has something to do with your imagination setting you free, except Baby Doll winds up lobotomized, so if that’s your definition of “free”, hey, this is the film for you.
My experience wasn’t all that bad, though. Went down to Georgetown to see it, then I had a thunderbeer! And a thunderburger! And all was right with the world.