The Princess of Montpensier (2010)

This is a movie with sword fighters and medieval violence (but not of the “on your ass” variety).

This is a movie with four guys all wanting to bone the apparently vapid titular princess.

This is a movie with full frontal nudity of Mélanie Thierry, and full-rear nudity of Grégoire Leprince-Ringuet.

This is a movie where the guy playing the King’s younger brother wears, like, a lot of eyeshadow.

This is a movie with possibly the most awkward sex scene since Mel Gibson put a puppet on his hand and had sex with Jodie Foster in a movie called, of all things, The Beaver, which is possibly just the most awkward film title in the history of film titles and makes you wonder why Ms. Foster, whose film it is, didn’t just say “Screw it!” and arrange for a tiger puppet as a substitution.

It’s also subtitled in French. So. There’s that.

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