Sometimes you win the bus lottery…

Sometimes you win the bus lottery.

For example, last week, I was up early on Saturday to do a quick run to Target before catching the bus up to Chevy Chase Circle to meet my dad at 9:30.  You can imagine my panic when I got home at 9 and saw that, according to NextBus (now iCommute?), the next bus wasn’t actually arriving for seventy minutes.  But what if there was a Ghost Bus, i.e., a bus running the route which isn’t being tracked by GPS?

So I figured I’d go to the stop and wait.  The worst that would happen is I would wait forever for a bus.  But I had a big thick book.  And sure enough, I’d been at the stop for only a few minutes when an L2 pulled up.

Same deal this whole week: I’d walk from work to Farragut Square and catch the bus idling before beginning the route, or one day, coming to Farragut from Capitol Hill, emerged from the Metro just in time to jump on a bus before the driver took off.  Today, for example, I wanted to head up north to catch my favorite used book sale.  I jumped off the Circulator at 18th and Columbia hoping I would only have to wait a few minutes for an L2: it pulled up the moment the Circulator pulled away.

Sometimes you win the bus lottery.

And sometimes you don’t: with a bag full of used books, a gallon of milk, and a sandwich for lunch, I was waiting for an L2 back home.  And I only had to wait a couple of minutes and one pulled up, great right?

Sometimes I get on a bus, and I don’t smell great.  I’ve had a long day of work, and then a half mile walk to the bus stop, I’m a little sweaty, right?  Or I’ve gone for a six mile walk one way and am catching the bus home from Capitol Hill, I’m probably not smelling great here either.

And as the bus has started its route and we’ve gone about three blocks, I realize — it took me a little bit — that the bus just fucking reeks of urine.  There’s a guy I’ve seen on the route before sprawled across the back seats, he’s got several bags stuffed full of other bags, and this odor is the most disgusting thing I’ve smelled in a long, long time; it’s like he’s been using his pants as a toilet and never cleaning them.

I seriously thought about getting off the bus and just waiting 20 minutes for the next one; hey, I have a big thick book with me, right?  Right!  But I also had perishables, and so long as I didn’t take a breath, the smell was … tolerable.

I was so happy when I reached my stop … I took a long deep breath of clean city air as soon I hopped off the vehicle.

All was wonderful … right up to the moment I walked into my apartment and stepped in a gigantic pile of soft cat shit on the foyer carpet.

Sometimes your cat is a real asshole.